Bad reasons to go to nursing school

For a few years, I was planning to become a nurse. Or, as a friend from my microbiology course at community college put it, a murse. I had always assumed that this term was a synonym for the man-purse, but this friend indicated that I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the Meet the Fockers series. Of course I wasn’t: I watched Meet the Fockers, so I witnessed its headlong plunge into a vulgar stupidity devoid of redeeming virtue in its first ten minutes. I did like the scene in the delivery room at the beginning (“What kind of man is nurse?!”), but everything after Gaylord Focker and his girlfriend got to Florida sucked donkey balls. As it was, I paid too much attention to that waste of a film, so no way in hell was I going to watch anything other part of that franchise. Actually, that isn’t true; I’d totally capitulate and watch garbage worse than that on a date with a woman who’s halfway cute and halfway sane.

What kind of man is nurse? Charles Cullen and sexy male nurse Lynn Majors, for starters, because we are not getting through this essay without a nod to their contributions to publicizing opportunities for men in nursing. What kind of woman is nurse? Not my friend who told me that I’d be a murse; she hasn’t gone through with nursing school, either. Meanwhile, a sometime drinking buddy from back east who did complete a BSN spent the first few months of her career posting complaints on Facebook about the grueling nature of her shifts, including one in which she went ten hours without a bathroom or meal break.

Nursing school and nursing are probably reasonable enough ways to pursue a heavily female work life, Canadian legal residency, and therefore #WINNING. On the other hand, nursing also offers alternative lifestyles like this:

Ok, now a topic that has struck a nerve. As the person stated before, I am also going to go to medical school. I have been a nurse for 4 years in hospitals here in Little Rock Arkansas. However, I have become sooooo frustrated with the nursing profession. We are sooo overworked and underpaid for the responsibilities that we take on every time we go to work.

I was a charge nurse in a critical care unit. The thing of it is, is that I was working so hard under mental and physical stress becuase we were so short staffed at work (and the problem was not because of some so called nursing shortage, it was because 3 of our hospitals had hiring freezes within 6 mo. of each other becuase they were all going bankrupt trying to outdo one another), and I was also under stress at home becuase I could not pay my bills with what I was getting paid at the hospital. Here I am with a B.S.N and a B.S. in physiology, and I could make just as much money waiting tables as I could working as a nurse.

I was in charge of the unit and took patients of my own most of the time, and after 3 years of working here I was making 13.50 an hour. THAT IS REDICULOUS. And what really makes me mad is that all of the hospitals around here pay anywhere from 11.80-15.00 hr. depending upon experience. I am sorry but that is slave wages for the work we do.

The ANA should do something about this, but they are to busy making sure that nursing is considered a “Profession” than taking the time to actually do something useful for us nurses out there in the field. I wrote several letters to the ANA and our state nursing association about my concern. However, I never received any response. I even went to the hospitals nursing administrationa and had a meeting with them discussing my concerns for the patients and staff, but all I received were empty promises to make me happy so that I might leave the office.

I also considered going into a NP program, but I feel that this is also a JOKE. My fiance just finished a masters porgram here at UAMS, and it was useless. They are more concerned about teaching you the history of nursing, theory, and research so that they can be considered a profession, than they are about teaching you how to care for a patient. I do not feel that an NP needs to know about this CRAP unless they are going into teaching.

From another observer:

As for the med school thing, DON”T ENVEN BEGIN TO TELL ME ABOUT THE TERRIBLE HELLS YOU GO THROUGH!! One of the hospitals I worked in was a teaching hospital, and we had residents coming through our unit. I know what med students and residents go through, and they all said the same thing “I would not have your job for anything.” Yes you may have hour upon hour of grueling studying without sleep, but you try for one day, being bit, hit, kicked, spit on, cussed by patients and family members, **** on (literally), vommitted on, saving someones life, keeping the residents from doing more damage than good, and standing there holding someones hand as they look at you scared to death taking their last breath. On top of this standing there with the family after the doctor has walked in and said there was nothing more we could do and walks out. Then realizing that you made about 125.00 bucks for a twelve hr shift that usually runs into about 13-14 hrs that probably took a year or two off of your lifespan because of the stress you just experienced. These are all things the doctors rarely see, but we have such an easy job don’t we. Like I said your wife is very lucky if she has a cush job like that becuase there aren’t many. And don’t get me wrong I am not going into medicine because I think that it is easier, I don’t guess you read me post very well (just like a doc to skim the surface) I am going into medicine becuase I am so tired of seeing what patients need, and having no one there to agree with me and help me treat them. Many doctors have a thing about someone suggesting a treatment. It hurts their ego or something. So many times I would watch a patient going down hill fast, because I am there with that patient day after day hour after hour, I knew what was going on with that patient, and there was not a thing I could do about it. So I got tired of this. This is the main reson I went into medicine, not that I thought it was easy. If I wanted easy I would have left the medical field all together. I am here to help people that is what keeps me going here.

Workplace surveys indicate that hospital floor staff suffer some of the highest rates of workplace assault in the United States. Nurses and lower-level personnel take more of it than physicians. Surgeons? They’re there to assault, not to be assaulted. Except:

A senior surgeon has fired back at criticism that she’s offering “appalling” advice to young surgical trainees by suggesting they’re better off staying silent if they’re sexually assaulted by a colleague.

Dr Gabrielle McMullin, a Sydney vascular surgeon, said sexism is so rife among surgeons in Australia that young women in the field should probably just accept unwanted sexual advances because coming forward could ruin their careers.

What a rude country, mate.

It’s one thing for hospital staff to carry on torrid, baroque affairs and engage in other extraneous shitting-where-one-eats nonsense, such as NBC chronicles on The Night Shift, the TV drama that is what I long assumed the Commodores song was. It’s quite another thing for surgeons to sexually assault trainees under threat of career sabotage, or to throw wild fits in operating rooms, or for nurses who failed up out of floor duty into administration to turn their profession into a gigantic status-whoring contest because they’re butthurt that they have less prestige than MD’s. This is especially inappropriate when they won’t stand up for entry-level RN’s whose pay grades are lower than what I made doing vineyard work on a very flexible schedule over the summer.

Not surprisingly, that’s a Southern thing, in this case, the Arkies running their own kind into the ground. Well, not really their own kind: there’s the kind of Arkie who shits on other Arkies, and the kind of Arkie that gets shit on, and one of the reasons that this keeps happening is that the shitters always pull the trump card of beleaguered Southern chauvinism before dropping trou and dumping on their fellows. At least in the North, and in less totally fucked up parts of the South, the pay is better, and it’s only the patients who are shitting on the staff.

Damn it, Mr. Sherman! For God’s sake, bring more lighter fluid next time!



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