Of all things that aggrieve the heart of God, none is more grievous than the rat bastards at my office, whom, God willing, I shall now kill

The malediction above is said to be much scarier in Arabic than in English, because Power of Pride #NeverForget USA! USA! USA! This is bullshit, like much of American politics, only more so. Truth be told, parts of it are unutterable in Classical Arabic, just on account of the occasional syllable that will make you gag, and in Egyptian Arabic it, like everything else, is a mumbly pile of nonsense because, realtalk, Egyptians are the Marylanders of the Arab world. As good Muricans, we’re expected to be scared shitless of Muslims from the greater Middle East, not that their tendency towards hostility towards us has anything to do with our military routinely committing war crimes against their civilians. It’s obviously just that they’re intrinsically evil and hate us for our freedom to drone their wedding parties.

For the second time during the current presidential administration, an American-born Muslim has fragged his workplace with better-than-average success following pleas of MUH JIHAD. Durka durka. This cat Farook in San Berdoo isn’t around to make his case after the fact, but he made a big scene about Islamic piety in the runup to his massacre. Nidal Hasan, of course, did his ostentatious bitch-I’m-a-Mujahid thing around Fort Hood before his conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman (one is expected not to comport oneself as a goddamn private in these circumstances), and he survived to start a dispute from his wheelchair on the matter of damn you infidels I shall NOT shave my beard because Islam vs. Major you WILL shave your beard because Army.

Seriously, this guy was being court-martialed for mass murder, and the court entertained a pissing match over his violation of Army grooming standards. It was just our tax dollars at play, though, and really, no one present could hold a candle to Fat Leonard.

If these workplace massacres had been perpetrated by Christians named Hastings and Farquhar who justified themselves with cherrypicked biblical references to the righteousness of killing, no one would have believed these justifications. Everyone would have been like, shit, son, you were pissed off at a bunch of people at work, don’t go blaming it on Abraham and Isaac. This isn’t because the Bible doesn’t contain passages that can be gently twisted to justify the slaughter of those one dislikes. As Fred Reed depressingly but aptly put it, “The Bible in particular seems most easily believed when least read. The Old Testament is a ramshackle pastiche of tribal barbarity, immorality, treachery, and murder; the New, a syncretistic mishmash assembled after the facts.” We’re probably wise not to take it too seriously, especially the parts of it that sound, you know, kind of crazy. John Calvin took Holy Scripture more seriously than you or I do, after all. It allowed him to kill his own kin with impunity because it’s an execution if the government does it, and he was the government. Neat little arrangement he had there, am I right?

No extant government in what might loosely be called Christendom suborns non-state violence by religious extremists against those the extremists declare infidels under some biblical standard. This is starkly different from the Arab world, where the government administering Islam’s holiest sites has spent decades submitting to wholesale blackmail and extortion by some of the most deranged religious extremists on earth today. These mummers and their private militias routinely demand, and promptly receive, hush money from the Saudi government to operate their madrasas and orchestrate various acts of terrorism abroad in exchange for their continued public discretion about the widespread sexual licentiousness within the House of Saud. This is what LBJ called “inside the tent pissing out.” Nice Kingdom you have here; shame if something happened to it. Nice Ras Tanura. That kind of thing. The rulers of other Gulf kingdoms are similarly compromised, what with their grotesque sexual perversions and the even more grotesque human rights violations that they orchestrate against foreign guest workers, many of these workers pious Muslims. No government in the West is extorted or intimidated to any similar extent by the Roman Catholic Church or the Southern Baptist Convention. This is true even accounting for the recent child sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church and the negligence or complicity of the relevant civil authorities. Mosque-state corruption on the Arabian Peninsula is much, much worse.

These rotten governments don’t operate as self-sufficient islands, however. They receive obscene amounts of financial, military, and other deep state help from Western governments, especially the US government. Bizarrely, the official Western consensus is that the Iranian government is batshit crazy and intractably untrustworthy, while the Gulf Arab kingdoms are trusted friends. The Iranian regime is odious, to be sure, but not compared to its southern neighbors. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his henchmen are a garden of rose bushes and date palms compared to the Arab tyrants across the water, fragrant and pleasing to the nose. That sounds like the kind of loopy shit Ahmadinejad might say, except that it isn’t religious enough. It’s true, though; as far as I know, no one has accused anyone in the Iranian government of shitting on rent girls and being buggered in turn with live salmon. Our alleged Gulf Arab friends, by the way, have included Saudi King Abdullah, who badgered US officials to “cut the head off the snake,” i.e., to assassinate Ahmadinejad in a way that no Saudi fingerprints got on the plans.

Fine chaps, the lot of them. We just can’t resist them, though. It’s like when your Crip cocaine dealer berates you to pop that punk-ass Blood crew chief because he’s too chickenshit to do the deed himself, and you still don’t try to find a different dealer. This is the caliber of our allies. They keep forking over first-fruits to the beards, and we keep paying them no less lavishly. Then we complain about Wahhabi terrorism against our embassies and our cities. Gee, couldn’t have seen that coming.

Except, as I mentioned, not all of it is Wahhabi terrorism, at least not entirely. If a foreigner engaged with an organization at war with the US military executes an attack on the US military, principled opposition to the US military makes sense as a motive. When a US-born Army major frags his own base at a time when he, like many other soldiers, is fed up with overseas deployments to war zones and desperate to avoid another one, opposition to the US Armed Forces on principle makes little sense. What, Hasan inserted himself under fifth-column deep cover as an active-duty officer just in order to go postal with a service weapon someday? Please. Sure, he got radicalized over the course of his career, or claimed to have gotten radicalized, but this was in the midst of a foreign war of choice that was alienating countless soldiers. We’re to believe that because he claimed Islamic piety as a justification to shoot up his post he totally wasn’t angry at his bosses about workplace bullshit.

There’s the matter of Hasan’s ostentatious pro-jihad stance in the runup to his attack. Some observers have argued that his creepy behavior and comments about terrorism were ignored out of a concern for political correctness. A concern for force readiness and available warm bodies is more like it. The Army wasn’t about to discharge an Arabic-speaking psychiatrist at a time when it was desperate for personnel to wage its perpetual war on Babylon. Remember, this is the same organization that harbors Dennis Geyer. If it will disappear Geyer’s image from the internet to hide its retention of one of the South Sound’s most notorious headbashers, surely it will allow one of its psychiatrists to just be kind of weird and creepy in a way that does not involve nearly bludgeoning a poor bastard to death with a metal thermos. What we’re left with is another officer who didn’t want to go to war, one who, unlike female officers, couldn’t get pregnant for the deferral.

Syed Farook is a weirder case, at least from what I’ve heard so far. He and his wife apparently were under deep cover for a number of months while they assembled their arsenal, but this raises the question of why Farook got all up in that Jewish colleague’s face about Islam a few weeks ago. This isn’t a way to blend in in preparation for a terrorist attack. He also showed up at the holiday party and got into a confrontation before leaving in a huff and returning with wifey and the good stuff. This seems like a good way to put the partygoers on edge. Some of them must have been wondering what had gotten into him, especially since he is said to have normally been quiet and well-mannered. There’s speculation that he was planning a more thorough attack for a later date and a different target, but that he got angry at his colleagues and decided that the time had come to massacre them instead.

These things don’t quite add up. I can’t shake the suspicion that this may have been some kind of false flag. The confrontations are a bit reminiscent of Mohamed Atta’s abandonment of a disabled aircraft on an active taxiway at the Miami Airport. It’s as if he was trying to draw attention to himself, to impress himself on witnesses’ memories. For that matter, Hasan acted in a similar fashion before his attack. It’s like these guys were making sure not to hide their light under a bushel.

Or maybe I’m just overthinking the whole thing, and Syed Farook is merely San Bernardino’s Andrew Kehoe. That’s another American who enjoyed bombs. Kehoe is probably hanging out with Farook and his fellow San Berdoo berserker Christopher Dorner and saying, shit, guys, you could’ve done better than that. Timothy McVeigh surely concurs–if, that is, he was in fact executed. I know, I know, that’s a deeper rabbit hole than I promised, but there are stories. Stay safe, especially if you’re dealing with Oklahoma or San Bernardino County law enforcement. They’ve assassinated people, too.


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