Compulsory patronage

As they say on the internet, when you see it, you’ll shit bricks. Let’s take a moment to weave together some loose threads:

1) Bougies who express salacious concern for the plight of (mostly) dark meat in the flesh trades, girls who obviously don’t have the agency to voluntarily, let alone rationally, choose to prostitute themselves and must therefore have been prostituted by violent pimps, fashionably known these days as human traffickers;

2) Bougies (say, them again) who insist that they respect Latin American immigrants and (Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan) feel for their undocumented (sic) status, in pointed contrast to the unwashed Trumpenproletariat of mouthbreathing, racebaiting bigots complaining about how they’ve been forced to compete with a shadow workforce of foreign peasants and no longer have jobs;

3) Emo pro-life activists, more often with seedy sexual hangups than without, braying about how they’re providing a voice for the babies, who (yes, I have seen this on Facebook, almost verbatim) are crying out, “Let us be born! Let us be born! (Wow Much likey Very kleenex);

4) Towards another sexual extreme, SWPL who never have time to bear and raise human children, formerly known as children, but have all the surplus time and wealth they need to raise dog children, formerly known as pets;

5) Democratic Party operatives who proclaim it self-evident that black voters trust, can count on, and therefore must vote for the Clinton patronage machine, currently fronted by Hillary;

6) #RIPCecil/#RIPHarambe/#RIPSimba emos who–Jericho the Lion–whose brother, Cecil, was also a lion–freak out over the tragic or Palmerly freakish deaths of large exotic animals they first heard of half an hour ago, with absolutely no understanding of the nature of these animals (Hey hey hey!), some of these same emos also being prone to believe that a homicidal mugging in Philadelphia that incidentally upset the victim’s dog is proof positive that the Ferguson protesters do not have any legitimate grievances (say, that their municipal governments are an overlapping, incestuous network of violent tax-farming mob rackets) (Snoop the Lion, my condolences in your time of loss and grieving);

7) Certain libertarians who insist that any shady, oily, bottomfeeding operation that sets up shop in the ghetto (in the ghetto) (Uber, Airbnb, check-cashing joints, storefront usury shops) is a godsend to the Community the moment it starts hiring or doing business with locals, and that anyone who objects must be a secret racist (as A. Philip Randolph always said, “The Pullman Company is bae, nigga”).

There’s something happening here; what it is ain’t exactly clear. Or is it? *Very Devin Yamanaka Voice* What’s going on, Ed? Hey there, Devin. The Illuminati tell Capitol Public Radio that they have deployed additional concern trolls for the 2016 election season. Capitol Bureau Chief Scott Detrow has more, and a probe in his anus from California’s newest undocumented immigrants…. *Insufferable Ann Coulter voice* They’re illegal aliens, you traitor, and Trump is the only candidate who will build a wall between America and the sky.

What unites the seven stances above is, indeed, some form or other of concern-trolling. Specifically, it’s a desire to cultivate subaltern classes that are either forbidden or unable to speak up for themselves. It would be a real buzzkill, after all, if the client constituencies rose up and told those patronizing them with these bogus concerns to fuck off. The animals and the babies are the safest constituencies in this scheme, since they’re–what’s the term, Mr. Chesterton?–literally unable to speak. They can’t even. They’re dumb af, in the sense of that deaf dumb blind kid and his mean game of pinball.

The grown-ass human constituencies listed above are trickier. At best, they live in much more limited states of *TIMMEH*. We might think of them as the reversely transabled: people who are expected to be enfeebled but turn out to be perfectly well able to speak for themselves, to the outrage of those who meant to speak for them. This is why great efforts are made to silence them. In the case of the Helots, the language barrier is generally assumed adequate, although additional efforts are made by classy-ass white boys and girls (((YES, THEY’RE WHITE TOO))) to convey to Low Whitey that they, High Whitey, understand and respect Latino culture, unlike all you knuckledragging straight white cis-male cracker-ass white trash honky motherfuckers. SWPL uses for Latino culture are some of the crassest and most craven imaginable. These Brahmins (and, perhaps contra Mencius Moldbug, also Optimates) want this self-replenishing lower caste of foreign peasants to keep their heads down and not learn English so that they will keep dutifully running the country, allowing the highest castes to continue to be as useless and parasitic as they please.

This language barrier can be flipped as needed, either to keep disaffected helots from airing grievances or to keep rebellious foreign darkies from refuting bogus grievances that have been aired on their behalf. The former application is used to silence Thai and Cambodian hookers turned textile workers from complaining that they’ve been abducted from consensual prostitution into factory slavery and, stateside, to silence farm workers stuck on ranches rife with wage theft, managerial extortion, and rape. The latter application is used to silence foreign hookers who have not been abducted out of their trade. Every Tijuana streetwalker who speaks passable English is one fewer who can be credibly presented as a damsel in distress, brainwashed and brutalized into submission by some pimp, when she’s actually like, bitch, I’m bored as shit out here standing in front of this bodega all afternoon, but this is where the money is, and yo, I’m the one who’s fucking the scooter geezers, not you.

The trickiest barrier to enforce is the one silencing the Bacon’s Rebellion constituencies. Low Whitey has been speaking English since Chaucer (no, Beowulf is not written in the same language; I could hardly understand a word of that shit), and the Community has been speaking it since Smith and Raleigh. Speaking on behalf of fifth- or fifteenth-generation working-class Americans requires contradicting in English all the impertinent things that they say in English. It’s every bit as absurd as it sounds. The Opposing Viewpoints end up in the realm of “Bernie Sanders: a bunch of us black folk are campaigning for him” vs. “Bernie Sanders: people of color dig Hillary because they hate that fucking cracker.” For the same reasons, dueling white extremists fight over the possession of whatever black conservatives they can drag into the fray, berating each other in arguments about whether Thomas Sowell is the coolest token ever or (God help us) an Uncle Tom who wouldn’t stray off the darky reservation if he knew what was best for him. These standoffs have all the dignity and intelligence of retards screaming obscenities at one another over who has more accurately interpreted Fred Reed’s latest column. Do you even middleman minorities, bro? It’s disgusting to get a sense of how much of American politics is accurately summarized by the Jimmy-Timmy cripple fight. In this case, though, only a few of the members of this club for cripples are Negroes.

Shit, white boy. #TIMMEH.

Just look at this sorry society of the involuntarily mentally transabled and sleazy technocratic scammers angling to transable any vulnerable or gullible constituency they can find. Look at the billionaire vulgarian and deadbeat who is successfully presenting himself as the savior for this silenced majority. In Late Imperial America, lie is livin’-a YOU!

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