Dubai porta potty

Don’t read this over lunch, unless you’re looking to lose yours. The sexual customs I just learned of are truly unimaginable, so let’s start with a primer straight from the horse’s ass. Wisdom, let us attend:

These guys are so rich, hate their wives and bored with life they are willing to pay anything for their crazy sex fetishes and I was crazy enough to expect the money. I’ve had to be gangbanged and bukkaked by over 20 Saudi royalty at once (made 40K) in two days so it was worth it.

I’ve literally been pissed on and sh*tted on so many times I just don’t understand why they like it (after the 3rd time you get sh*t on you get use to it). I’ve had to have sex with a male German Shepard dog in front of them,

I’ve had to stick numerous objects in my ass and their ass*s as well,

I’ve got paid to eat sh*t, I’ve got paid to get beat up,

I even had to stick a live Salmon in some 65 year olds man ass…

I’ve had sex with their 14 year old boys to make them men, I’ve drank cups of c*m and have smeared my face with their sh*t. So to all you ladies that are going to bash me.

I’m 24 years old and have 1 million dollars liquid in my bank account. I’m now retired and can have normal sex with whomever I want.

I especially appreciate the use of “ass*s” as a euphemism by a young lady who is writing to confess that she committed dog and salmon bestiality with Arab perverts. It’s a suprisingly fitting spelling, since the transliteration of “asses” into Arabic script would also be missing the E (actually, a second alif, which is grammatically analogous to an A), but I doubt this chick speaks Arabic. She can hardly maintain proper spelling for the length of a single sentence in English.

Another confession (paragraph breaks and font standardization mine; elipsis in the original):

Nik, I moved to Las Vegas 2 years ago to be a stripper since I’m so sexy and have the biggest +2′s money can buy… about 6 months into it one of my girlfriends convinced me to come over to a hotel party with her after Rhino and we could make a couple grand just by sleeping with a guy… so like an idiot I went, spent about 45 minutes with my gfriend and the guy and made $1750… ever since then, I’ve been escorting. I charge 2k minimum and am booked a month out.. so I’m doing very well for myself…

Last month I met the prettiest girl at Surrender and she told me how she makes around 15-20K per weekend traveling the world with princess, monarchs, and other royalty… I asked her how can I get in? And she told me you just have to be down for whatever… now I like anal, I’ve slept with 4 guys at 1 time, and I enjoy kinky stuff… So I thought to myself I’m perfect for this… So last Wednesday she calls me and asks me if I want to make 12k for 3 days in St. Tropez, but tells me it might get a little weird? I was like how weird can it get? and 3 hours later Im on a private jet with 3 girls heading to St. Tropez.

I’m not going to say who we met up with but let me tell you, we get on a very very very nice yatch and its us 4 and about 15 to 17 guys easily the over the age of 50… soon as we walk in, they tell us to get naked and start playing with ourselves… so we start playing with our toys and there is only a few guys in the room with us watching this and all the sudden this guy started peeing all over us and then tells me to open my mouth so he can piss in it? I f*cking flipped and went crazy? Like who pees on people?

I immediately tell my friend I want to get the hell off this boat but they told me I have to wait till we get back to port and if I don’t participate Im not getting paid and have to find my own flight home… the stuff I saw these men do to these 3 girls was insane… from gang banging all of the men on the boat, to some of the men defecating on the girls and pissing in their mouths… I couldn’t believe what they were doing… Now, I’m at the airport wondering what the hell im doing with my life and waiting to get back to America… Nik, if you meet a girl and she makes over 10k with one client, you know to stay away from her.

Clarifications: 1) Nik Richie, to my surprise, is not Nicole Richie. He is actually the former Corbin Grimes, né Hooman Karamian. Messrs. Richie, Grimes, and Karamian are all the same person. When I first saw the Wikipedia summary, I thought Google had conflated at least two people. 2) Answer: This punctuation mark is customarily used to denote questions? What is “the question mark.” Correct. Great, I’ll take “Up the Sheikh’s Poop Chute” for 600, Alex?

Miso: a kind of soup.

And to think that by SNL’s reckoning, Sean Connery merely ejaculated onto the “I Have a Chardonnay” heading on the question board. These rich Arab creeps make the raunchiest, most gratuitous material on SNL look like a Calvinist congregation’s stage adaptation of a McGuffey Reader. Trebek will need the whole case of chardonnay to get through this story.

Speaking just for myself, I do not have a *hardon*** writing about these dissipated perverts. This is really dark stuff. These guys are truly depraved. Many of them are probably psychopaths. From a strict harm reduction perspective, it’s a mercy that their high-end Western escorts are mercenary enough to fly to the French Riviera or to the Gulf to serve as “porta potties”: their clients would be forcing themselves on their household maids in the same fashion if foreign hookers weren’t available. Unfortunately, this is just a best-case scenario, since wealthy Gulf Arabs are notorious for repeatedly committing acts of wanton brutality against their household employees, who are mostly desperately poor people from South and Southeast Asia.

This depravity isn’t just about sex. It’s about power. These men get off on the degradation of women, even the degradation of animals. They get off on the knowledge that they’re wealthy enough to order women young enough to be their daughters or granddaughters from overseas and then spend hours pissing and shitting on them. For much the same reasons, these guys get off on the knowledge that they can harass, batter, rape, privately imprison, and even kill their maids and nannies with impunity.

The Gulf Arab regimes are stunningly amoral. They’re run by and for mentally disordered sex freaks, but they’re officially governed according to some of the strictest forms of sharia on earth. The House of Saud, at least, is known to be perennially under the blackmail of a mafia of Wahhabi religious zealots, men whose shtick is to tacitly threaten to run an ISIS-style bloodletting on the royal family and blow up Ras Tanura if their gravy train is ever derailed. The cost of being privileged enough to have infidel chicks fuck one in the ass with a live salmon is payable not only to the infidel chicks, but also to clerics who herd undersexed boys and young men into their academies and fill their minds with religious mummery. Saudi Arabia, a country named after its ruling family, is governed by men who order marginalized women beheaded for adultery by day and pay to watch American girls fuck German Shepherds by night. The other Gulf satrapies are less overtly brutal to their convicts, but they’re every bit as brutal to their migrant laborers, and their rulers are no less sexually dissolute.

Remember that the US government considers Saudi Arabia one of its most important and enduring allies, and the constellation of Gulf emirates close runners-up. This is the company that our government keeps. Our leaders provide extensive military and diplomatic assistance to a patchwork of vicious kingdoms whose rulers terrorize their subjects with threats of imprisonment or death over trifles, submit to extortion by international terrorist organizations, and devote their leisure hours to urinating in the mouths of foreign rent girls.

It’s because of the oil thing. We’re part of a daisy chain of violent, amoral state and non-state actors that have one another by the balls. It’s a big geopolitical elephant walk. Saudi Arabia isn’t the swing producer that it was a few years ago, but the West has not secured an alternative supply of fuck-you energy. We must still suckle at the camel’s tit. In our defense, though, this can’t possibly be the worst thing that is done with camels in that part of the world.

In addition to its wholesome and affordable fat-bottom working girls, Tacoma has an exceptionally well-run and modestly priced municipal electric system, powered by a robust network of hydroelectric dams in the hinterlands. This is the lifestyle to which Americans should aspire, and the one that we should fund with our purchasing decisions: domestic renewable energy sources like hydroelectricity and firewood to light and heat the tasteful incall apartments rented by tasteful hookers with tasteful curves. This is the proper synthesis of the Jeffersonian and Hamiltonian economic models, with the company of women pretty enough that Ben Franklin wouldn’t have actually covered their heads with bags. Philadelphia may have the big fat fatties of good morals and good form working as mercenary prostitutes, but it doesn’t have the hydropower, and I’m all about that baseload, ’bout that baseload, ’bout that baseload, no coal, please. #TheMoreYouKnow  Contrary to propagandized popular belief, coal is not clean and green with new technologies, but it’ll heat up a fucking power plant boiler, so we aren’t giving it up any time soon. And oil keeps the exurban wankery project in good working order, so it isn’t going anywhere, either.

These are just things to keep in mind day to day when deciding how fossil fuel-rich a lifestyle you’ll pursue. A portion of your gas bill is going to the enrichment of already obscenely wealthy Arab men who use their wealth for the extremely obscene purpose of flying in women from overseas to work as human toilets. It’s a fact of the oil and gas industry, and it isn’t even the worst thing about the industry. The dirty old man who sells firewood in your neighborhood probably isn’t involved in anything that twisted.

This isn’t to say that it’s morally imperative to take to sackcloth and ashes in penance and ask Al Gore for absolution every time one goes on a frivolous drive in the country or flies to Aruba for a week of masturbatory vacationing, but these are things to keep loosely in mind as variables in the daily moral calculus. We’re citizens in a republic, not bitches in the harem of some royal Arab psychopath. It’s up to us as individuals to decide how many of our petrodollars go to the Gulf to die of shame.

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9 thoughts on “Dubai porta potty

  1. I salute you sir.finally someone who speaks the truth.
    I respect you as a man.
    Those saudis are the worst scum on earth, and our leaders(I am not american but western none the less, even served in the armed forces of my country in a war to protect their rich assess) are in bed with them. I would not mind shoot them and their voerlord two times over and burning them with Napalm.

    • Thank you. I have to say, though, that this piece was one of the least courageous and least painful ones for me to write. I have nothing to gain by flattering Gulf Arab perverts and nothing to lose by offending them. They live in a completely different world from mine. All I did was write a sort of bottomfeeding meta-analysis of the sick bastards and then watch the traffic flood in. I’m amazed by the number of page views that I keep getting on this post.

      I can’t condone the kind of retaliatory violence that you fantasize about visiting on the Saudis. On the other hand, it would be no more gruesome than the violence that the US government is currently visiting on its perceived enemies in the Middle East through its drone assassination program. What ISIS did to Muath al-Kasasbeh, the captured Jordanian military pilot it burned alive, was a much more proportional response to the immolation of mujahideen and even noncombatants in US drone strikes than the mainstream press in the US, Jordan, Qatar, and probably even Pakistan will ever admit. It was evil to the core but proportional.

      That’s one of the things that’s so scary about getting involved in foreign wars with Arabs and Pashtuns. Once the central government weakens, the power vacuum is consistently filled by the craziest, most vindictive religious zealots and tribal blood feud enforcers possible. It doesn’t help that the governments they’re trying to depose have spent their entire existences suppressing civil society, which was weak from the start in most the Middle East. Or, in the case of the new Afghan government, too weak and corrupt to nurture civil society and protect it from an onslaught of terrorist attacks. Even Qatar, which was lauded as a beacon of reform in an oppressed region, is a slave state that has been killing foreign slaves by the thousands on construction projects for the World Cup, an open secret that is finally getting something verging on mainstream coverage in the West thanks to Qatar’s prominence in the corruption of FIFA.

      Who will take over from these governments when they fall? Probably something ugly. ISIS and the Taliban are very useful models. A competent military strongman in the mold of Saddam Hussein or Muammar Qaddafi would be a stroke of luck, but that becomes less likely as Western air forces bomb the shit out of a succession of disfavored state miitaries, most recently in Syria. The much talked-about moderates are useless. They don’t have the fight in them. Only the beards do.

      These governments are already falling. The Gulf kingdoms are much more enduring so far than they should be, given the sheer decadence of their leaders and their hypocritical appeal to Wahhabi Islam for their legitimacy. One thing that ISIS has in its favor is that it offers procreative marital sex to its warriors, not bestiality and brown showers for a dissolute aristocracy while the masses stew in unemployment and involuntary celibacy. Western governments are too dense (and too contemptuous of their own unemployed incel constituents) to notice this. Even so, if ISIS truly establishes itself as a state, its leaders will probably calcify into something hardly any less sexually perverted than the current crop of Gulf Arab princes. It’s already swarming with what may be the largest per capita concentration of psychopaths on earth.

  2. Maybe these rich saudi sheiks are doing something wrong but these women know what they have to do to get paid & if they are willing to do those kind of things, they are nothing but whores who deserve everything that might happen to them.

    • Everybody involved in that arrangement is broken. It’s a tragedy and a farce at once. Offhand, I’d say that the portapotties come away worse than the sheikhs. Just the appearance that they leave feeling broken inside suggests to me that they aren’t soulless and psychopathic like the guys they’re servicing. Most of them are wearing golden handcuffs, and I can’t envy or resent them for that.

      It’s interesting, and disturbing when I think about it, to realize how much sexual resentment these women stir up. Roughly three quarters of my traffic is to this article. They’re doing things that most hookers would find truly horrifying and would refuse to do. The average whore in a decriminalized regime would probably call the police if clients at a sex party acted like that. Portapotties are way out there even by the standards of prostitutes.

      And again, I do not envy them or resent them. It’s like resenting someone for spending the weekend rolling around in a gutter full of human waste on skid row in exchange for a $30,000 royalty check from the producers of a reality television show.

      Why the wealthy Arab clients of these women aren’t having normal trysts with normal prostitutes instead probably just speaks to the increasing prevalence of bizarre sexual perversions along with an increase of wealth. Their adversaries in ISIS proclaim a belief in procreative sex within marriage, and they seem to do quite a bit to facilitate it for their fighters, while these creeps shit on rent girls and take it up the ass with live salmon. The main reason this should be relevant to Westerners, however, is that we’re paying for their perversions whenever we buy oil. This stuff would probably die back quite a bit in a decade or two if the oil money dried up, but that isn’t about to happen.

      One thing that worries me about all this interest in the portapotty article is that it seems to be driven by resentful incels. I can’t say for sure, but that’s how it looks. More low-end hookers in the West may be what we really need. The obscenely wealthy will always be able to find a few dozen women out of several billion to indulge their worst fetishes. The real question is whether normal men without other options can afford to get laid from time to time.

      • Someone mentioned this “porta potty” thing in another article, and I have to admit… it is truly disgusting. The things people will do for money has no bottom, which is something I have started come to grips with. Speaking of things people do for money… You spoke of resentful incels; the biggest reason I think they even exist is because these people have seen their fathers railroaded, crushed into oblivion on the pretense that the man was a bastard, an abuser of his wife and children and that he was a philanderer by a system that was supposedly designed to help curtail injustice. What we see now is that justice only exists for those who can pay for it and for women, big daddy government foots the bill or makes the man pay for it. It’s getting more and more obscene and men are opting out of marriage at a young swearing it off completely, some divorced men are opting out by suck starting a gun and kids are growing up in this. I don’t blame women but the divorced ones sure put easy enough, are they complicit… meh, kinda but these politicians and judges definitely are.
        Some where in England, they just erected a statue of two women (one pregnant) holding the hands of children while intentionally leaving out a father figure. Why? Our descendants might one day look back at that kind of thing and wonder why we let society become so depraved and amoral that we saw fathers as buffoons and second class clowns, so much so that some daughters are getting paid to stick fish up some rich princes ass while another sheikh or princes bricks or pisses in her mouth. Or, we will all be slaves and the rich will control us with drones and soldiers that get paid handsomely with power and probably (very young) women. Seems like western men and poor people around the world are seen more as a literal commodity for the rich to exploit. What do you think is the fate of the west if things continue on, and what effect do you think a Trump presidency will have around the world?

  3. Pingback: Yiddish for schmucks | Murica Derp

  4. Shitting, pissing, insertions, animals…it’s all over the porn web, has been for years. What cave you been living in? Go on XXXHamster or PornTube and search “throat fucking” or “rough sex”. This stuff is so yesterday.

    Doing all the above on Lake Mead in a public boating orgy under God’s blue sky is what’s up front at present.

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